10 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me:
*Warning... Some of these are weird. That is All*
1)
I hate wearing colours. My wardrobe consists of black, brown, grey, some more black, bit of white, some more black....erm... that's it. I feel stupid in colours. Like I'm wearing a pub carpet. Plus..... BIG Plus. Black makes you thinner. Seriously.
2)
I always read the back of the sugar packets in coffee shops. I don't think this applies in the UK. However, Hulett's sugar in SA, has little sachets, with positive sayings on the back of them. However, I do not leave my fortune to fate alone. Oh no.. I scratch around until I find one I like and then pretend I was meant to pick that one up. They say things like: 'Outside Noisy, Inside Empty'. hmmm....
3)
I once stole a bottle of wine from my Dad & then spent 3 hours running around every bottle store in town trying to replace it. So... we were desperate. We downed his bottle of 2005 Cab....Do you think I could find that exact bottle ANYWHERE?? If you are thinking No.. you would be correct. 2006 - yes! 2007 - yes! 2008 - yes!
2005 - not a chance.
Great.. now what? After my major run round and with only 15 minutes to spare until he came home, I grabbed the 2006 bottle & carefully put it back, covered it up a bit with the Bible -(god save my soul) and hoped and prayed like hell he wouldn't notice. He didn't. Although if he works out how to read my blog he'll know now. Sorry Dad - I am your favourite child remember? (*wait for evil comment from sister on this one*)
4)
Sometimes I feed my kids Beans on Toast for supper & convince them it's healthy because it contains 4 essential food groups..
Bread - Carbs
Butter - Fats
Beans - Beans & Lentils group - oh crap, I can't think what it's called. Legumes??
Cheese - Protein
Sometimes I even chuck them an apple to include the 'Fruit & Veg' group. The worst part? I don't feel guilty doing it. Such a bad mom.
5)
On very rare occasions when I see someone I don't want to talk to in the shops, I flip my phone open and natter away to NOBODY, just so I don't have to talk to them.
Ok. That's a bad one. But you know when you just feel so yuk, everything's gone wrong that day, & you can't remember if you even brushed your teeth that morning? ok.. you definitely never brushed your teeth... AND you're wearing your jeans that your kid puked on 3 days ago... In the distance you spot your funky, single, childless friend from school, ultra-thin, ultra-gorgeous, ultra-manicured, ultra-not stressed and you think ...
'Sh*t. I cannot talk to this person'
Out comes the 'flip up phone and talk to no-one' technique. Smile & Wave girls, Smile & Wave.
6)
If I'm sad I blast out SAD SAD songs, sing along loudly & badly, chunk my heart out, do the UGLY cry, and feel SO much better afterwards!
7)
This one is SO embarrassing..... whenever I eat something yummy, I HAVE to say 'delicious' after I've eaten it. Even in Company.. I'll cough it under my breath. I. Am. So. Weird.
8)
I NEVER ever have Nookie with my socks on . Never. That's just gross.
9)
I make LOADS of lists and hardly accomplish anything on them. Or leave them behind when needed. I feel very efficient for making this practical list, but usually just shut my notebook and never look at it again. Probably why I never seem to finish anything. hmmmm.....
10)
I really want to bungy jump.. Back when I was running my tour company in South Africa, we used to take people to the highest bungy jump in the world - 216m! Thats kak far. I won't do it because.......
I am scared I will lose my feet. Yes. My feet.
I have a fear they will just snap off and be left in the loops on the bungy cord while I go crashing into the river below.. Footless. Yes. I am weird.
Ok... Make me feel like I still have friends then... SHARE something with me that I don't know about you :)