In my fridge...

Random........

Can you believe I just threw all this out of my fridge? ALL EMPTY.... All of 'em.  Does anything irritate me more? Probably. But it's still irritating.

What have we learnt from this boring blog post?

1) We eat a lot of yoghurt.
2) The yoghurt-eaters do not like to throw empty boxes in the bin.

Happy Friday x

Next Blogger Network - Women's Winter Knitwear

I stumbled upon (not via Stumble Upon) the Next Blogger Network purely by accident yesterday. When I was talking about boobs. And Bra's. And my love of shopping. You can register HERE if you want to be cool like me. You can grab a button too.

Now Online Shopping... I am pretty good at. I LOVE it. Browse Browse, Click Click, Pay, Get. It's Awesome-ness. They just Bring it to your door, how fabulous can you get?

So, at the moment I am looking for something fabulous to wear to BlogCamp Bristol next week. And the fabulous people at Next came up with this:

Lambswool Cardigan - Retro, yet elegant

I love it! The best part? Its £38, AND it comes in 3 fabulous colours - Neutral, Grey & Red.  I'm thinking a pair of skinny jeans, some fabulous glittery shoes... possibly some like this... I see Next has a black pair of heels like these for just £28!

Image by Model Mayhem

I reckon I'll be good to go! Who's with me on Loving the Lambswool Cardigan?

All views on this product are completely my own, this is not a sponsored post! Just spreading some Awesome-ness!

Bras. Bazzucas. Boobs.

I had to go Bra Shopping.. Me. Shop. I know.

I am NOT a shopper. And Bra's? Lets not go there.

Do you know this song?

"Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble too and fro, can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Caaaaan yoooou, (put some gusto in here) TOSS them over your shoulder like a regimental soldier, Do your booooobs haaaaang loooooow?"

This is where we are going with this.

I stomp into Marks & Spencers to be 'fitted'. Knowing I am going to hate this lady in about, oh .. erm... 15 minutes.

The Never-Ending measuring tape is whipped out of her pocket.... I feel hatred rising in the pit of my stomach....     34, 36, 38... wooaaaahhh!! Back up here lady.. let's go back to the 36 part honey!

B, C, D...  DD............  I am mortified. I stomp louder.

Surely this cannot be? Surely her fancy measuring tape is wrong. How How How can this be?

3 kids. That's how.

I sh*t you not, I actually purchased something very similar to this.

My life. Is. Over.
And FYI, the measuring tape lady is still alive. Just.

Silent Sunday

Winning Wednesday - Giveaways!

I have decided to launch myself, feet first, into the exciting world of Blog Giveaways. yeehaaaa!!!

I'm new to this, so bear with me here.  My plan is that every Wednesday I will host a FANTASTIC giveaway here on my fabulous blog. (I'm modest. I know.) Hence the ultra creative name I have come up with: Winning Wednesdays.

These awesome giveaways start next week, Wednesday 28th September....

I have all sorts of awesome people read my blog and its hard to pick something I know people will love love love. I have some leads and linkies, but feel like i'm going round in circles. So there is one way to solve this. I am going to ask YOU! My lovely blog readers.

So I want I want to know from you is........................

1) What do you like winning? Be brave. Tell me the truth.

2) Do you like entering giveaways to win awesome stuff for yourself, your sprogs, your husband,  your lover, your dog - whatever, who's the STASH for?

If you could be so kind as to answer me these two simple-pimple questions... I will love you forever. AND you will automatically be entered into my first giveaway next Wednesday!! Just by commenting right here. I know. I'm cool like that.

Go ahead.. comment away!

:))

From this little kitchen....

Comes a whole lotta cooking...  I am not one for recipes. I am too impatient. So I just chuck stuff together and hope for the best. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. That's just me.

These were given to me by a very kind customer. He has been a regular  at our pub for 45 years!!

Peel & Chop em up, add a bit of brown sugar and cinnamon and cook on a low heat for about 20 mins, until they are soft & squishy

Naturally, I turned them into Apple Crumble.

Yummo!! Using my moms very easy crumble topping mix.. 1 cup butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 cup flour. rub between your fingers for about five minutes until it looks breadcrumb-ish. Bake at 180C for about 15 mins. Warmed up with a bit of custard... LUSH!

My new yummy invention. It looks gross. I know.

Cauliflower & Courgette & Broccoli Cream/Wine/Blue Cheese/Basil bake. Clearly I do not have a name for this dish.

I just chopped up an onion. Fried it until golden, added some chopped courgette (baby marrow/zucchini - whatever you like to call it) And a head of broccoli, 2 heads of cauliflower, some fresh basil, a big chunk of crumbled blue cheese, salt, pepper, white wine ( a good glassful) and probably 3 cups of cream.  Then I chucked it in the oven on 180 C (350F) for about 45 mins - 1 hour. It is so flipping yummy..... We had it with our sunday lunch. Oh.My.Word. It was good.

Even the kids ate it, I just told them it was disrespectful not to eat the Family Tree. (Broccoli)

And last but by NO means least.. I made up some FIG jam. My favourite!! You've gotta try it on cheese.. yummo....

mmmm... yum..yum.... What have you been cooking up in your kitchen?

Is this working?

Just downloaded the Blogger app on my phone. If you can read this, I am so bloody cool right now.

Silent Sunday...

10 things I have learnt in this kitchen...

So, as you may know - I am currently the Head Chef in our little (very little) pub kitchen.  I was sort of thrown in at the deep end back in April, but that's a whole story on its own. Basically, I had to LEARN TO COOK. Yip, I am was the world's worst cook. ( My sweet little sister would like to add in here, that I still make the world's worst gravy which is basically 1 x whole bottle of wine, bubble it up on the stove and add a blob of chicken stock.) You can have a hangover just from the wine. SER-I-AAS-LY!

So here you go... TEN (Probably useless) things I have learnt while running this kitchen:

1) American children DO NOT eat Baked Beans. I have yet to find one that does :) Show me! Show me!

2) British children LOVE chicken nuggets. Even more than burgers.

3) If you do not turn the Gas off, THE FIRE WILL NOT GO OUT....

4) It really helps to wash up as you go........

5) If you put a pen in your hair, you probably won't lose it, and will always be able to find it when needed. The same applies for keeping the freezer keys in your bra.

or you could go all out like this Chickie

6) You can learn to cook when you have no choice. Trust me. I make a MEAN steak.

7) Country bumkins do not appreciate you stacking their chips up like Jenga. They want big, fat piles of messy chips. Let's not get technical here.

8) You will permanently smell of grease if you work in a pub kitchen. And your children will back off when you try to kiss them goodnight. This goes for the husband too..

9) You get very protective over this food that you once were unable to cook. Heaven help anyone that leaves a bit on their plate or EVER sends anything back!! :)

10) You will dream about ordering and menu's and dishwashers and frying pans most nights. There's no way of getting around it. You just will.

So there you have it, TEN useless bits of info about running a kitchen.

Laters,
Mwah xx

Monday.. Yes. Monday.

I've been sick. ALLLLL weekend. It totally sucked.  So here's some Randomness for you.

1) I took comfort from my gorgeous new mug...

Oh. I . Am. In. Love

I've got to get the whole set from Morrisons. They're only £1.50 each. I just love them.

2 ) Rimmel is TOTALLY giving away 6000 FULL size samples of this amazing lip gloss. It is my FAVOURITE. Go HERE to enter!

(I totally have not been paid by Rimmel to push this - its just total randomness. Although, being paid would be awesomely cool)  hint hint

This is my FAVOURITE lip gloss. Image Courtesy of Rimmel London.

3) Carrying on with the whole 'London Look' - I bought this eyeshadow palette last week, it DID NOT look like this video when I did it. I. Will. Practise.

4) I was featured today on Love New Blogs Weekly Showcase.. along with a whole bunch of fantastic new bloggers. 

Take a look - CLICK HERE

5) That Is All. As you Were.

Have a fabulouso day,

Kerry x

Silent Sunday..

We like to party.........

We had a party in this house a few weeks back...  A joint party. AKA cheapo/double-bubble/only clean the mess up once party! It was fab.... 

Shan with her stash. Not the best picture of her, but I LOVE the paper... 

Tay with her stash

I totally bought this cake at Morrisons decorated this myself - can you tell?

Some of the teeth rotting goodies on offer

This cake looks good, but MAN it tastes horrible. :)

For ME the mommies

The girls decided we HAD TO HAVE a photo display...

A MOM invented these drinks, I'm telling you... they are fabulous, grab one, shuve the straw in, no mess. Awesomeness

Two pretty party girls

One HAS to wear their high-heels for a princess party 'ya know?!

Best idea i've had all year... cupcake decorating station. Ready mixed Icing from the shop, bowls of decorations, cheapie cupcakes and some plastic knives... kept them busy for a good half an hour.

Guess what I got for my birthday?

We played Pass the Parcel. There was of course a prize in EVERY layer. I'm cool like that.

I got a cuddle with my gorgeous niece. She even wore her party dress.

Oh the Hands. How sweet is she.

The party gals. Trying to put on a normal face.

And now a Crazy face.

When we turn 9, we light our own candles, clearly.

:) 

That princess is on FIRE. oh i crack myself up

It was a sweeet day,

Happy Weekend!

I was not born to be an Exerciser. Like, As in FIT.

Day One of my Running Plan:

'Scuze the flash

20 min Run/Walk accomplished.

Do you see what is written under 'Food Consumed' ??

BACON ROLL. BACON ROLL????? Oh help me. I am destined to be porky forever. 'Scuze the pun.

I even have a video of this episode... I tried to edit it to add captions, but I keep losing the edited version. so... when you see my face.... That is the look of HORROR. SHEER HORROR.  And my voice doesn't really sound like that. I was runwalking ok? And yes, my 6 year old clearly follows in my steps... "MOOOM, MY SIIDDDES HURT!!"

You can laugh now.

Love Kerry, Your Royal Porki-ness.  xx

We had a birthday party for a Soccer Ball... yes, a Soccer ball...

This post is an oldie. But a goodie. We had a Birthday Party for a Soccer ball. 


We are totally insane.


Read on... (i wrote this post 3 years ago.. 3 years.. where did they go??)

"Shanah - (who is now 3 by the way, can you believe my baby is 3 already??) got a new soccer ball. This child is amazing with this thing, she can spin it, toss it, catch it, and all those other sporty things. She gets SO irritated with me because Mommy is ... well....very CR*P at catching balls.

So, we get the new ball, and she decides we need to give the ball a party. A party for a ball my baby? 

" Yes MOMMEEE, Me want party for my ballie! "

 Ok, my love, calm down to a panic.. We all proceeded to sit round the table with the ball taking centre stage while Shanah sang it a song at the top of her lungs and cut up the 'cake' ( playdough cake ) By this stage Niamh and Tayla were beyond boredom and were kicking each other under the table, all the while whispering under their breath .....

" stupid sister, stupid ball, stupid cake " 

and I was like the mother from the INCREDIBLES holding them apart with my Elasta-girl arms while Shanah served us all 'cake'

 After trying to convince her that no matter how hard she shuved the cake into the balls 'mouth' it was NOT going to swallow, the party was over. Well, we thought it was - Shanah then said we must all say 'Prawers' (prayers) and Niamh, my eldest,  had to pray for the ball.

 Already dying of soccer ball party embarrassment, she muttered a prayer that went as follows:

Dear God, I cannot believe my mom is making me have a party for a ball, Please help her. Oh, and tell Tayla to get off my foot, Oh and one more thing God, please help the Muslims

Don't ask where the last part came in, I just dont know.

Another friend of mine had a Facebook status update that just said : Hetha... has just had a funeral for a goldfish.

Oh, I would have loved to have been present for THAT. Dear God, please look after this dead fish, he's been a good fish and has served me well... I'm sorry he was so bored swimming round and round the same goldfish bowl for a year, and I'm sorry mommy flushed him down the toilet, but please... spare a thought for him. "

The day the 'soccer-ball party girl' was born

Age 2, when I wrote this blog post

How insane is my family?? I love them so.


Kerry xx

I can fart through my Belly Button

Ok, not ME personally, before you all delete me from your blog roll... This is a kinda long post, but SO worth the read if you are a mom..
Once Upon a Time...  I had the pleasure of transporting 5 x 8 year olds to the Planetarium for a school outing. In other words... I WAS CRAZY ENOUGH TO VOLUNTEER FOR SCHOOL LIFTS.

You know what the general 8 year old stage is like – all teeth, feet and dorkiness? Well, try having 5 of those on the back seat for an hour and a half… I guarantee you will need a shot of something strong by the time you get home.

The trip there was relatively incident free, all of them insisted on singing a different song, at the same time, at the tops of their voices – but I was happy, it allowed me to go into ‘Driver Day Dream’ mode while they entertained themselves. We got cool parking ( cool people get cool parking, as my mom always says ) and off they trotted to watch Davey Dragon save the planets while Mommy and Debbie plonked themselves in the Trendy Che Bar to get high on cappuccino's.

After 2 hours, and way too many cappuccino’s, we buzzed back to the Planetarium to pick up the sprogs, and this is where the fun begins…

‘Right Troops, put your lunches in the boot, and jump in the car’

Kid 1: SHOTGUN!
Kid 2: SHOTGUN!
Kid 3: SHOTGUN!
Kid 4: SHOTGUN!
Kid 5: SHOTGUN!

All a millisecond apart… Ok, I am a fair, controlled mother – ha ha – whatever, my mind is frantically thinking.....................Which kid deserves to sit on the front seat??

‘Ok, Kid 1 – you sat in the front on the way here, so you’re out. Kid 2 – you are MY kid and you should let your friends have a chance blah blah blah.’

This still leaves me with 3, sweaty, irritated, potato chip-covered sprogs to fight with.

‘Right, lets Paper, Rock, Scissors it then. You three, when I say go, CHING CHONG CHA!’

1,2,3 - GO!

All rock.

Ok, again!

All paper.

Ok, one last time – GO!

All scissors.

Not working..

By this time I’m Sweaty, irritated and also covered in Cheese Curls and just grab the biggest kid and stick him in the front – my practical mind telling me there will be more space for the others on the back seat.

Minute by minute the noise is getting louder and louder, and they are getting sillier and sillier… 




About halfway home, my child gets the giggles. Like, the real giggles.. She is sat on someone else’s lap and has just farted. The boy next to her is saying, Oh gross, you are so GROSS!! She laughs so much that by now she is farting uncontrollably, I am trying to be the ‘mom’ and reprimand her for not having any manners, but by now I’ve got the giggles too. After a couple of minutes of near hysteria, silence fills the car for about 30 seconds. Then a small, sweet, very ladylike voice pipes up from behind me: “Miss, that’s nothing – I can FART through my Belly Button” ……….. ‘Really Sweetheart? Wow, that’s amazing, what a clever party trick!’ ( I know you’re all going to try it now… )

The boy on the front seat is now SO glad I chose him to sit up front, and told me a loooong in-depth, detailed conversation about how he speaks 3 languages fluently because his dad is Turkish, his mom is Afrikaans, and his Granny is English.

FRONT SEAT BOY: “ So, because I can speak 3 languages my dad is taking me overseas next week so show me off to my uncle in Turkey who rides a Harley Davidson, EXACTLY like the one in front of us now, but sometimes he drives a truck EXACTLY like the one on the left of us now, and then sometimes he…….BLECH”

ME: “ Erm, Sorreee - did you just puke in my car??????”

FRONT SEAT BOY: (very garbled and muffled) “Yesh,sorry,I caught mosht of it in my tie sho don’t worry, I’ll jusht shpit the rest out the window – Bleeeccchpppuuuke”

Now I have 3-language-Front-Seat-Boys sick all down the side of my newly polished car.

That’s it. I have DONE my good mom deed for the year, so I put my foot flat and raced back to school at break neck speed.

Very Calm-In-Control-Non-Driving-Teacher: “ Oh Kerry, Thank You SOOO much for taking lifts today !”

Oh think nothing of it darlin, it was an absolute vriggin PLEASURE. But I think I will be very conveniently ILL for the trip to the Science Centre next term.


Please tell me YOU have had a similar experience? 


Kez xx

Silent Sunday...Aaaahhhhh....

So long Summer... So long...

The last 2 days have been warm. Like 25 degrees C warm. Thats like boiling for over here. I think it's been the hottest two days aaalllll summer! (i'm still getting used to not having the African heat around)




So, So long summer - it was nice to see you for 2
whole days :) D'ya think next year you could hang around for a while? Thanks in advance..

Off to the River

No idea who the child is on the far right. Hello Random Child.

Have I ever introduced you to this sweet ballerina? My little 2nd cousin, Evie, she'll be famous one day - check those precious points.

Oh Summer.

Off to pick the Blackberries in my garden before this little ball of fluff gets them all.

Have a Sweet Sweet Saturday,
Kez xx

And then... they Grow UP!

My little baby starts High School tomorrow. High School people. Like where all the big kids are. The big, sweaty, moody, stroppy teenager kids are. Oh my life - someone pass me the Vodka.

Ok,Ok, its not that bad.  She is uber-excited of course. I am...... Scared. Nervous. Terrified. Proud. :)

When they are tiny and all the grannies warn you..." They grow up so fast Mommy! Before you know it... Poof! They will be grown up!" You should totally listen to them. Instead I rolled my exhausted eyes, flicked my hair over my shoulder covered in baby puke, kicked the dog high chair out of the way and thought

"Yeah... Whatever lady.. these sleepless nights and baby-filled days are NEVER-ENDING".

Well, they do end.

And honestly, before you know it, BAM... there they are..waltzing into HIGH school with their little skirts hitched up  just a little too high, mascara on their eyelashes which they think you haven't noticed, their fringe swooped sideways across their face, and they are doing the 'cool swagger'.  You tweenie moms all know what I'm talking about right?

Sweet Niamh, stay as sweet as you are, enjoy High School my sweet darling, and OPEN EVERY DOOR that is put into your pathway. I love you, more than Ice-Cream & Chippies & Chocolate Cake... That's a whole lot. :)

My blogger friend Jenny from Jenny on the Spot is feeling like this too... go HERE and read her fabulous post.

Wish us luck for tomorrow! I have the Vodka tissues ready.

Kerry xx